Thank God it’s Friday! I had another wasted day yesterday where I sat like an addict in front of the computer doing much the same as the past three days. I hate to say it, but it’s almost rejuvenating to be in addict-mode sometimes.
Angel’s friend came over to spend a few hours playing. I took them and Liam out for pancakes at the little diner down the street. They were being so mean to Liam, and even when they were just joking aorund he would become so hurt and sad. It amazes me how sensitive he is. And he’s going to seriously hurt later in life if he doesn’t develop thicker skin. Lots of anger too. So unlike the other one who seems eternally happy.
P and I kept in touch throughout the day by email and then he called at six as he was walking around the city. I love him so much, I can only hope he feels the same. He’s going to pick me up from the shore on Saturday as I’m going to try to ride my bike down there. I’ll leave at around nine-ish and hopefully get down there by one. I haven’t been on a bike in over a month I hope I’m okay.
I finally talked to my cousin last night. She started a new job making $42,000 for only three days per week as a paralegal. Unbelievable! She’s always amazed me at how confident she is when it comes to getting a job and a raise. Talking to her made me search through old journals from 1994, and when I started to read them, I came to the sad conclusion that I was pathetic. Between the ages of 25 and 27 I was really wasting my life. I did nothing as an adult but mooch off my mother and my grandfather and go to school and work part-time. There’s a couple of cute little entries with P in them from way back when we knew each other. I guess I was hoping to interview him at one point and never did. Oh well. That was so us. We couldn’t get our act together back then either.
Ugh. I’m so down on myself. I need to shake this. I need to tell myself that I can be a success today and actually do something, or I can repeat history and be nothing.
What’s it going to be?
The Break-Up Journal 