August 11

Cool, damp, cloudy. There were thunderstorms all day yesterday except while we were in Brigantine. The sun and sky were beautiful over the ocean and I got some sun. Elaine’s house was beautiful.  Joe really did a lot to it. Nice materials too—stone, granite, tile, etc. And he did it all himself. If only P were so handy. How nice would that be. Well, he’s got his beautiful garden.

Mom and I talked a bit about my relationship to P. She said that my personal emotional issues are probably not as bad as I make them out to be. That I have good reason to be mistrusting and scared in a new relationship (based on what I experienced in my past relationships) and that any man who loves me needs to understand that and have patience with me. She added that it’s also way too soon for me to be so needy of him, and it’s way too unhealthy. Ugh. I hate when I know she’s right.

After coming up from the shore, I showered, dressed and took the kids out with P to Rexi’s this shriveled up, outdated South Jersey restaurant that hasn’t changed its décor or its menu since probably 1953. P and I were both in a blah mood. He had spent the whole day sleeping and I was overtired, sunburnt and depressed by the stale surroundings of the restaurant. But, we still laughed and had a good time. Well, the kids and P did, at least.



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