Names, dates and identifying details have been changed to protect the privacy of individuals, but otherwise, this journal is true account of my life as it happened during a certain time in my life. The following is an appendix of characters referred to in this blog.
Abuela= my ex-mother-in-law, R’s mother.
Angel = My first-born son.
BD= a guy I dated very briefly in between breaking up and getting back together with C.
C= My PoA. C was the guy I had been seriously dating for about three years, shortly following my divorce and the last serious relationship I had had before P and I started dating. Known as “G” on The Lovely Addict, he was my “PoA” because I simply did not want to let him go even though he was clearly not a good choice for me. He was seven years older than me, never married, pot-smoker, fiercely independent, a drummer and singer. We had great communication, but almost zero sex life. I never considered P a PoA by the way. Only C.
D= My current husband and best friend
DS = An old boyfriend of mine who I almost married circa 1993. He was the most “normal” guy I’d ever dated but I left him because I didn’t love him. When I went back to try and be friends with him again, he rejected me horribly and said he wanted nothing to do with me, ever. This relationship haunted me for a very long time. I think it’s important to note also that he was blond (not my usual) and he had the same first name as D—a name that I stayed away from for many years because of what DS represented to me—fear of committing to the wrong person, fear of giving up myself, and my dreams. My ability to reconcile this relationship and make peace with it, much later in life, helped me accept D and not make any faulty connections between the two men. I think it’s also important to note that I knew both DS and P at the same time. I had a huge crush on P and would flirt with him, but nothing ever came of it. When suddenly, DS asked me out, I bit. The relationship failed, I left the bookstore where we all worked and lost contact with both DS and P for many years.
HM= a male friend who I never had a relationship with, nor did I want one.
Kathy= My best friend at the time
Liam = My youngest son
P = The story of The Break Up Journal is about P and I. I had known him for years, but never had a relationship with him until this point. A classic avoidant, he was, at the time, 40-years-old, never been married, no long term relationships, still living at home, and a pot smoker (though he claimed to have quit when I first started dating him). I refer to him as “S” on The Lovely Addict.
R = My ex husband and the father of my children.